Schooling Myself: Political

      I've mentioned before that I don't often comment on politics in general because I feel the topics are more complicated than most people give them credit for and I don't have the time or the energy to collect enough information to feel completely confident in my opinion.  And I think people who buy into the over-hyped spinmiesters are complete tools.

      This morning, I was listening to discussions on the radio of President Obama's Jobs Bill as well as some of the Republican proposals.  My thinking (based solely off what President Obama and the Republican Candidates said about their own proposals)?  I think it makes a hell of a lot more sense to put money into building schools and roads - putting teachers and construction workers back to work - than it does to tear apart our environment and sink the nation deeper into the oil pit.  That said, I'm sure there is a heck of a lot more to each plan, but I do know enough to say that I instantly bulk at the idea of using environmental destruction as a tool for economic advancement.

      But, really, that's about as far as my knowledge goes.  So I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, I should add a book to my reading list that will educate me a little about economics and politics.  Something a little less pop-culture than Freakonomics - not that I'm knocking it.

      So I've added a new book to my list: 

      The Price of Civilization by economist Jefferey D. Sachs examines the widening income gap between the rich and the middle class and looks at the reasons why middle class growth has basically died in the last couple decades.  If you click on the image of the book above, you can read an exerpt.

      Even though it intimidates me a little, I find economics facinating and am looking forward to digging into this book as soon as I finish up one of the other 3 I'm reading right now.  Anyone care to join me?  I would love to start a little mini book club (as in this one book and stop - I like my book club committments limited to one book at a time).

      Heaven knows I found the information about farm subsidies in Menu For The Future extremely enlightening.

      If you're on the fence about whether or not to join me in reading Price of Civilization, you can check out an interview the author gave on NPR here.

Sex Ed: It's So Amazing!

      When I was pregnant, Punky started asking questions.  Nothing too risqué, nothing particularly specific, but it was clear that she was curious.

      The first time she asked, I was completely unprepared a little surprised.  I pulled up some handy internet images of the good old female reproductive system (internal) and promptly bored the curiosity right out of her with talk of cells and tubes and gestation.  I also answered her question of just how the baby would get out of my stomach.  That pretty much quelled the curiosity at that point.  An important note on this was that she asked about the pregnancy.  She did not, at that point, ask about sex.

     But I knew the questions were just around the corner, and I needed to get my act together.  I have been a HUGE proponent of fully comprehensive, age appropriate sex education since college.  Accurate, comprehensive Sexuality Education is THE MOST effective method, bar none, to protect our youth - not only from teen parenthood and STIs, but also self esteem and relationship issues, prejudice, involvement in risky situations - a whole gambit of things related to sexuality throughout life.

     I will TRY to refrain from turning this into a rant about how unbelievably vital good Sex Education is for our youth (EVEN THOUGH IT SO TOTALLY IS) and how completely ineffective and DANGEROUS abstinence-only Sex "ed" is.  Just take my word for it.  I researched the heck out of this topic in college - hours and hours of pouring over various studies, statistics, and evaluations of programs.  The facts are absolutely clear: Comprehensive Sex Ed is the answer. 

     So I knew I had to get on top of things for the next round of questions from Punky.  And I knew the questions were imminent.  It was clear she was hitting an age full of curiosity about boys, relationships, and S-E-X.

     I’ve been a UU for a long time, and one of my very FAVORITE things about the UU church is that it has its very own whole life, comprehensive Sexuality Education program, OWL (Our Whole Lives).  The program has been highly praised by many organizations not at all affiliated with Unitarian Universalism.  Many people bring their kids JUST FOR this program.  OWL is awesome.  Punky was in OWL for a short period of time in Brooklyn, but she was much younger then. 

      Sadly, our current UU church is too small to support an OWL program, so I was on my own.  There are a lot of brilliant resources available online for parents to create their own Sexuality Education programs.  But, to be quite honest, as a pregnant full time working mom, I was looking for a little faster fix.  And I am IN LOVE with what I found:

     After a whole lot of research, I ordered Punky this book:

      It’s So Amazing is the second in a trilogy of wonderful Sexuality Education books for kids.  I just wish I had found out about them sooner so I could have started her with the first one!  This book is what’s amazing.  The entire book is colorfully illustrated and every single page is engaging.  The text is simple and straightforward – it doesn’t condescend, confuse, or titillate.  And it has every detail I could ever imagine Punky wanting at this age – to include information on different kinds of families (step, adoptive, homosexual, etc.), promoting love and tolerance for all, and information on good and bad touching and AIDs.  It is COMPLETE.

     And, yes, it talks about intercourse.  I was extremely impressed by how this was handled.  Two sentences, factual and matter-of-fact.  They provide all the information while leaving you without making a huge fuss out of it.  Out of this whole huge beautiful book, only two sentences go to “the act,” and that’s all that are needed.  But every word of the book is worth reading.

 

      

      The book couldn’t have arrived at a better time.  Punky was starting to hint around that she wanted to know how the baby actually went IN, and she obviously knew it was something salacious.  She was super excited when I gave her the book, and she loves it.  We read the first couple chapters together, then I cut her loose to fill her curiosity on her own, but she knows she can come to me with any questions.  The funny thing is, I’m not sure she’ll have any.  The book is just that good.

      I can’t recommend this book enough, and I’m already looking forward to getting the next book, It’s Perfectly Normal for her in a year or two (not to mention the first book, It’s Not the Stork for when Flinstone gets a little bigger). 

      Now it’s time to open the discussion.  How did/will you teach your kids about sex?  What sort of sex ed did you get from your parents and/or school?

For more information about Sexuality Education, please check out:

The Parents’ Sex Ed Center

The Guttamacher Institute

And

Implementing Sex Education

What We're Reading Now

      When you walk through the front door to our house, directly in front of you on the left is a long, old table.  Under the table is the cave where shoes and reusable grocery bags live.  On top of it, you'll find a random assortment of objects waiting to be returned to their proper homes or things on their way into or out of our house.  It is where keys live, it is where my cover for work sits when I'm home, it's where library books await return, and where bills and junk mail go to die.

      This table also features The Stack (also refered to as "The Pile").  It is a tall, teetering tower of reading material that was either started and abandoned or is waiting it's turn.  The Stack is my version of a To-Read list.  It's not all inclusive, but I don't think I could ever come up with an all inclusive list in any format.  Right now, The Stack includes a couple issues each of Urban Farm magazine, Working Mother magazine, Natural Living magazine, Parents magazine, The New York State Bar Association Journal, The American Bar Association Journal, The Animal Advocate, UU World, and probably a couple other random magazines I've picked up here and there.  And there are books.  A bunch of them.  A couple of them are MacGyver's, but most of them are mine, and honestly, I can't even remember what they all are right now.  I know there are a couple Janet Evonovich novels for when I need something light.  I know there are a couple of Ecologically minded books I've recently acquired in there.  I'm pretty sure there is also a smattering of other novels that looked good and made it onto the pile. 

     But I've barely touched it the last couple weeks.  The Stack has grown and grown, and it had begun to taunt me.  To tease me and torture me with good things waiting to be discovered.  "Touch, explore, READ ME," it beckoned every time I walked by.

     But we were SO busy, and there just. wasn't. time.

     Isn't that always the case?  I mean, when IS there ever time for reading for pleasure in the life of a working mom?  On the commute?  Nope, I don't live where there are trains anymore, and sadly, I can't read and drive.  In the tub?  HA!  I can't even remember the last time I had time for a relaxing bath (meaning one where no one - Flinstone or MacGvyer - ended up in the tub with me).  Before bed?  To be quite frank, I usually do other things for pleasure at that time - or a pass the frig out as soon as I come within 2 feet of the bed.

      Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not in some sort of black whole of reading.  I actually read a TON.  I read for work all day long.  Of course, given the choice the stuff I read for work wouldn't be at the top of the list - or even on it.  I catch random articles here and there through news feeds.  I read blogs when I've decided I've earned a break during work.  It's just the books and magazines in The Stack (and on my Nook, and scattered randomly throughout every. room. of. the. house.) that were getting to me.  I mean, even just a few weeks ago I was reading more.  I read Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe (which was AWESOME, by the way, highly recommend).  I used to make it through at least one magazine a week, dragging them along in the diaper bag or keeping them tucked underneath my placemat at the dinner table (not that I would ever read during dinner - that would be a big no-no, but in the morning while I drink my tea, etc).

     But the last couple weeks I've just been go-go-going every moment before work, at work, and the second I walk through the door.  It's probably Fall.  I've been super motivated to get things done lately and have about 600 projects in mind, but just keeping up on the housework is enough to keep me from ever picking up a book.

     Actually, lately, I've been the only one in our family not reading.  I mean, we are all readers, but usually I'm way out front reading 2 books and 3 magazines at once, leaving a trail of devoured items in my wake.  But right now MacGvyer is reading Ender's Game in addition to his usual diet of Popular Science, Urban Farm, Popular Mechanics, and Handyman.  We're reading Punky Wellspring of Magic at bedtime, and she has to read 20 minutes every evening for school PLUS 5 books/chapters of books for every half hour she wants of mindless screen time (TV or computer/DS games).  Even Flintstone can often be seen toting one of a dozen Dr. Seuss board books around the house at any given moment, though his idea of devouring a book is a little more literal at this point.  He's finally liking to actually sit and have [short] stories read to him, and we read him Time to Sleep, my Love at bedtime.

      EVEN BOO - who reads approximately one book every 2 or 3 years - read about 5 books while he was here.

     So I really need to step up my game.  I started Pride and Prejudice on my Nook a while back; I'm going to work on finishing that off.  I've finally broken into The Stack again and pulled out an issue of Working Mother and an issue of Urban Farm.  I'm taking back my morning tea time - it's only 10 minutes, usually, but it is 10 minutes of complete quiet when I can just sit and drink tea and read.

      That is, unless Flintstone continues on with his new plan to get up when I get up every morning . . .  ;-)

     What are YOU reading right now? 
      When do you find time to read?
      What are you reading as a family?
      What are your kids reading?

Time Suck

Originally Posted:

Feb 2, 2011 1:49 PM

The Plug

I started this post in the beginning of January, along with the 6 0r 7 others to which I keep alluding.  A meme of sorts posted by a friend of mine last night has inspired me to finally finish it.  Since the post itself promises to be rather long (no surprise there), I'm going to invite you all to join the meme on the front half.

Recently the aforementioned friend, who also happens to be a MarineLawyerMommy started a blog in preparations for writing a book.  The blog, so far, rocks.  And completely puts mine to shame.  When you go follow her blog (because you will), don't think less of me.  You'll see exactly what I mean when you get over there.

The book she is writing, from what I gather, is about the struggles of women in our society to be all.  Or, more accurately, our failures to do so.  How all these extremely successful women go about their days feeling like they have failed at every other thing, from blowing their diets to not wanting to get down on the floor and play dolls.  It's called The Modern Failure, and I am COMPLETELY addicted to it.  And Chanelle, who writes it (I actually have another post about her in the works . . .), is always looking for input, which is super easy given how amazingly thought provoking her every post is proving to be; further putting my mundane "this is what I did today" blog to shame.  And if all that hasn't been enough to get you over there to check her out, maybe this will do it:  She will send HOMEMADE COOKIES (we all know how I love me some cookies) to the first 30 people who plug The Modern Failure.  While that is FAR from the reason I'm plugging it, I am nonetheless very excited about my cookies.

The input she is looking for today is from this post.  I think we all have nights where we look around, the day is gone, and we find ourselves wondering where the hell it went.  Or at least I do.  6 -7 times a week.  Chanelle wants to know where your time goes.   Here is what happens to mine (near as I can tell):

The Post

I have been talking a lot recently to two good friends of mine from OCS – women who knew me when I was just Marine.  Before Mommy.  Lawyer.  And Wife.  Over the last 6 years or so since OCS, all of our lives have changed a lot.  Michelangelo (we are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; I'm Donatello) got out of the Marine Corps, became a vagabond in South America, and climbed Machu Picchu.  I was extremely jealous.  Leodardo was sent to Joint Command in the middle of nowhere where she has been able to get a Master's degree and a black belt.  Again, jealous.  Then she joined Roller Derby.  Cue intense jealousy.  I have had a longstanding star-crossed love relationship with Derby since my sorority president introduced me to it oh so many years ago.  I have had fleeting associations with many teams, but I move a lot.  My life changes a lot.  And now, I find myself in a place where I know I'll be stable for at least a couple years, where I could actually join a team – and stay on it – and there is just no way.  I am just too busy. 

And I found myself thinking about how I am almost too busy for my own life these days.  Every single day there is at least one thing I find myself wanting to do that just won't fit, whether it's Roller Derby or just putting in the new garden.

Somewhere between 04:30 and 06:00, Flintstone wakes up to eat.  I prefer it closer to 04:30 because then I can go back to sleep for a little while.  If it's not until 06, when my get-your-lazy-a$$-out-of-bed-NOW alarm goes off, it throws my whole morning off.  From 06 (or whenever Flintstone is sated) until 7, I run around in the dark (I don't even turn on the lights in the kitchen because that will just make it harder to see when I go back in the bedroom) getting my uniform together and on, PT clothes gathered up so I can work out since I've inevitably forgotten to stock my office closet at the beginning of the week again, sanitizing bottles and breast pump paraphernalia, putting my hair up, making myself a lunch, getting everything together and labeled for Flintstone to go to daycare, making a lunch for Punky on the rare occasions that I have time, changing Flintstone and getting him packed into his car seat, letting the dogs out, packing up the diaper bag and my work bag, and getting on the road.  If Flintstone is awake for all of this (which he has been most mornings for the last 2 weeks), this all slows down.  My last minute alarm may have to move back to 05:45 soon.  And this doesn't even take into account days when I'm supposed to be at morning PT. 

I also make a cup of tea during that time window, but more often than not, it's still sitting exactly where I made it when it's time to go.  If I'm lucky, I remember to put it in a travel mug.

I have to be on the road by 07 if I want to be on time.  Punky and usually MacGyver are still asleep when I walk out the door.  I drop Flintstone off at about 7:15, jam my heart back down my throat, and head to work.  I scoot into my office at 7:25.

7:25 – 10:50 I battle the vicious mountains of cases trying to envelop my desk. I pump in the middle of that time.   At 10:50 I change into PT clothes and go work out for an hour or so.  I no longer shower after PT because there just isn't time.  I change back into my uniform and go pick up Flintstone from daycare shortly after noon and take him home to spend the afternoon with MacGyver.  On good days, or days I don't have PT at lunch time, I have lunch with MacGyver and feed Flintstone.

I'm back to the battle by 13:00 (1 o'clock) at the latest.  The battle continues.  I will often have a cup of tea, or even coffee at some point.  I also have to pump again around 3 – joy of joys.  The workday ends at 4:30.  On paper.  In real life I almost never leave the office before 5.  When I was in a trial billet, I could easily stay in the office until 8 before a trial.  I'm glad I'm Review – for now.  I'm told I'm going back to Trial in a few months.

I get home around 5:30.  From 5:30 – 8 there is making dinner, which often requires shopping, dishes, laundry, Punky's homework, feeding Flintstone, eating dinner, and cleanup.  I do not do all of these tasks, if MacGyver is cooking, I'm doing dishes; if he's helping Punky, I'm cooking dinner, and so on.  On nights when everything falls into place and there aren't 75 other things that need to be taken care of, we have time to sit down for a ½ hour and watch something on the projector (got rid of the TV months ago – thank heavens!), or play a game.  But it's usually the former.  A ½ hour of screen time a couple nights a week is not that bad.  Bite me. 

At 8 the getting ready for bed rigmarole begins, which is followed by story time.  Lately, we've been reading the Percy Jackson books, though we just finished the forth one and need to go buy the next.  Shortly before 9, Punky's tucking in is complete.  Flintstone should also be asleep by this point, but I'm usually still holding him as I hate missing story time.  And I suck at putting him down without waking him up.  I am well aware that I should be putting him down sleepy but still a little awake so he gets used to falling asleep on his own.  Whatever.

At some point, whether it's dinner time or after story, I pour myself a glass of wine.  I often remember to drink it.

Once Flintstone is out, MacGyver and I take a shower.  It isn't unusual for MacGyver to have to wake me up for this because I'm usually ready to pass out by the end of dinner.  But after tuck in time is when all the fun grown-up parts of my life take place (ok, maybe at lunch time, too), so I'm usually able to rouse myself enough to spend some quality time with MacGyver.  I like to be asleep by 11.  Well, I'd like to be asleep by 8, but that really isn't an option ;-)

Obviously, every day is different, but that's a "typical" day.  It doesn't count Punky's extracurriculars (can you say girl scout cookies?),  Farmer's Market, and whatever else that eats up my time.

The Roller Derby team I have been courting since before Flintstone was born practices three evenings a week an hour away.  Obviously not an option.  BUT I will be spending a week doing Derby things with the team in May AND they've invited me to participate in other ways.  I might be a ref, a jeerleader, or possibly a volunteer.

But even fitting that stuff in is going to be a challenge.  Because it's not like my schedule is about to open up any time soon.  A friend of ours at church, whose children are grown, commented on Sunday "Oh, you are right in the middle of the best part, careers, young kids, you're young – it's also the hardest, most stressful part – you must not have time for anything."  Ha, to say the least!

So that's my daily time suck.  What's yours?  Head on over to The Modern Failure and let her know!